Change is Good: Making New Friends

What’s up again readers! If you’ve noticed, I haven’t posted a blog in some time… not my original plan but sometimes that’s how it goes.

My favorite thing to say… anytime… anything… happens.

As I have admitted to some people, I have been struggling with feeling inspired to write. I studied for 4 years to get my degree in journalism, and I love writing!

But I guess I have been feeling like this blog is homework or an obligation. It so isn’t!!!!

I have made it my personal goal in the next few months to be more active and throw myself into this blog. Not to please an audience but to create a purposeful hobby outside of work.

Just to give an update on my ever-changing life (and yes, that is not an exaggeration), I am going to be moving to a new city in NC next weekend to start a new job. EXCITING!

It’s more bittersweet than anything, if I’m being honest. I’m leaving behind a life that I just got started less than a year ago.

Since moving to Raleigh in December 2018, I struggled for a while to make friends and create a social life. But now, I have quality friends and the best boyfriend. It seems like I succeeded right before having to relocate.

This entry is to remind myself that change is good.

Lyric from Once in a While by Timeflies

To turn down a great opportunity to stay in my comfort zone would be detrimental to what could happen in my life.

Complacency is not the place to be, ever.

After I graduated college, my first thought was, ‘How in the world do adults make friends?!!??!”

It’s so easy on a campus: classes, gyms, food courts, events, etc. All filled with people around your age and looking to connect.

When you get out into the working world, you may not be surrounded with people your age (that was my case). How do you find people to engage with and build a friendship?

Now to the main point– I’m back to square one in social life in this new city. I’m sure there are some of you in a similar situation, so I’m going to share what worked for me in gaining friends in a new area.

In this online world, it’s best to join it rather than fight it.

Sure, it would be really cool to organically meet someone in public and start a relationship. If we’re being honest, millennials and generations born after that, don’t really work like that.

What brought me the most success in meeting people was the app, Bumble.

Yeah yeah I know, obviously. But it’s not just the fact that you download the app and make a profile, it’s how you use it.

It’s all fun to swipe and see who you match with, but less fun when you have to message someone, right?

What I quickly learned was that girls will message and talk to you forever, but none of them try to meet or hang out. That is where you get the best chance in creating a friendship.

I know my place among people: the outgoing and up-front initiator. Now I realize that not everyone is that way. But if you really want to make friends, challenge yourself to be the one to say, “Do you have any free time this week to meet?”

Be that person, because no one else will.

Once to this step, it’s usually easy to figure out a time and place to hang out for a bit. The next feat is the both of you actually following through with meeting.

DO IT!!!! It’s more fun than you think.

I met someone that is very similar to me that I would not have become friends with otherwise. My boyfriend and I now have couple friends because I made the first move.

I’m not saying that you won’t have people that aren’t right for you: I definitely had to deal with some girls’ bullshit. But for the most part I met genuine people that I can now call my friends.

I know this is only one suggestion, but it’s really the only thing that worked for me.

Like you haven’t heard this before

I hope we all get to experience the feeling of gaining a good friend after a while of being a tad lonely and bored.

In honor of Taylor Swift’s new album, Lover, coming out

Please feel free to contact me and ask me any questions that you have about my experiences or just advice! It’s always nice to converse with someone who is going through the same thing as you.

As always, good luck 🙂

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